Guest post by Guy Ferdman

“What determines the way one does anything is personal power.”
~Carlos Castaneda

For a series of events taking place to be called a game, certain criteria must be met. Rules, players, a goal of some kind, and a way to determine a winner are just a few.

What is a winner? When being more of something, faster at something, more efficient at something, essentially more of this then that will determine winner and distinguish the loser.

In the game of life there are ways to determine winners also. Mostly we say those with money are winners in a Capitalistic society. Those who have acquired more, earned greater power, and seem to have it all.

But is that really a “winner” at the end of the day? When we all lay there waiting our final moment, money isn’t worth very much. Neither are your assets or your power. We all have the same amount of value at that point.

Wealth is not determined by how much money you have in the bank, nor how much power you wield. I would argue that there are poor people in this world who are much wealthier than the richest rich.

(I’m also not saying there’s anything wrong with having lots and lots of money, it is a key determinant factor of freedom in the modern world, but it does not determine freedom).

Wealth, in my opinion, is more determined by the lives you’ve touched, the laughs you’ve shared, the differences you’ve made for others and ones ability to recognize that happiness is not given by items or things, but by an internal choice.

I refer to many things as games in my life. Pretty much any task I have in life I associate it with playing a game.

Not gaming someone like so many seem to think when I use that type of language, but in the games I play I assess the court, I create rules and structure, I set a goal that I wish to attain and I figure out what the best way to play is in order to win and achieve my goal.

There’s one game that has no winners however. I don’t mean war, but that’s probably a good example as well. The game I’m speaking of is played by many with great ease, and is rarely seen as a culprit of negative impact, disempowerment and lack of self-expression in one’s life.

What is this game you ask?

Quite simple – The Blame Game!

No matter how much work I’ve done on myself or with other people over the past decade, one thing has always remained present to me:

You peel back all the layers, you remove all the distinctions, biology, breakthroughs, countless experiences, and when you tare it all away what has always grown and expanded is the ability to be responsibility for more and more in my life.

What do I mean by that?

The best way I can explain being responsible – distinct from blame or guilt – is the ability to see oneself at source of everything one gets and everything one does not.

I see people consistently pointing the finger of blame at people and their circumstances. A person of the opposite sex comes into your life and does wrong by you. The person determines that he or she is just like all the other ones out there, completely devoid of any and all responsibility or impact they may have had on the situation.

Another example, a person starts a business or begins a new project. It fails. The person blames the economy, the rotten landlord, the tax collector, the government, an ethnic group, aliens from out of space – you get the point!

It is easier to blame an externality then take on personal responsibility for most people and bring it internally. Growth can only happen when one is being responsible for what is coming in and out of ones life.

For example:

If you were to fail a test and in the back of your mind you determine that the teacher had it out for you or that other people had some kind of advantage, your inability to put yourself at source will keep you from actually learning anything.

You essentially set yourself up to repeat the same mistake over and over again and the cycle will only stop if and when you choose to see yourself at source and learn the lesson that you need to learn.

If one is completely oblivious to the impact they have on their own life and continue to only blame external forces and people this person will be making one of the gravest mistakes.

When one blames, what you are left with is no power in life. Let me repeat that because it is so vitally important. When one blames everything on externalities and has no sense or awareness of personal responsibility, no ability to be at source, this person literally gives up ALL THEIR POWER! ALL OF IT.

Maybe it is true that the person did you wrong. Maybe it is true that the economy is awful. Maybe it is true that the guy or girl treated you with disrespect. Maybe it is true that person cut you off on purpose. Maybe it is true that all politicians are crooked. Maybe it is true that the world will never change.

Maybe it is true, but maybe it isn’t!

Both are just as likely, it’s your interpretation that decides your viewpoint. You can say anything you want and collect evidence and proof for anything your mind can conjure. If that is so, then why would you ever create interpretations that impact you negatively?

You literally get to say how it is and how it isn’t.

The only empowering view-point, the only view-point that puts you at source is being 100% responsible for everything in your life.

Whether or not you think you caused the event that is happening to you right now, this is of no consequence. Still put yourself at source. Still, tell yourself, “I caused this.” Then seek the solution and the answer to your problem.

You will find it very quickly because you are now the one with the hands on the steering wheel, figuratively speaking.

It’s only when you’re at source that you can put your hands firmly on the steering wheel of life.

Any other interpretation of outside sources it is as if you are giving them or it the steering wheel and proclaiming that you have no control and something else is free to decide which way to take your life. This is completely ludicrous, counterproductive, and not really what any person strives for.

I’m not saying blame yourself, I want to make that very clear. If one person goes out of their way to intentionally harm another person, for example, the person harmed is not necessarily to blame.

But forgiveness whether to yourself or someone else is not a sign that you condone anything, it is merely a gesture of being able to move on, and peacefully I might at. You forgive for yourself, not for the other person.

If a person is willing able to see themselves at source, than forgiveness becomes natural and restoring your personal power is possible. If you are currently a victim of your circumstance, then all the power is with the situation or person you are blaming and not with you.

Final thought — If you’re someone who is experiencing no personal power, no self-expression and you feel helpless or victimized, then your challenge is to find the strength inside to begin seeing yourself at source.

It is your only way out and it will never happen if you are waiting for something or someone “out there” to change.

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change, but it will take courage, responsibility and strength on your part. You will feel unrivaled power, you will begin actively creating your life experience and people will be at awe at how you live your life.

There is nothing greater in this life and no better game to be winning at then the one I call responsibility! Have the courage, regain your personal power.

It’s your choice how you live, choose wisely.

Guy and Ilan Ferdman are the co-founders of SatoriPrime, an online education company that gives up-and-coming Internet entrepreneurs the mentoring, step-by-step strategies and personal growth training they need to generate the six and seven-figure incomes they desire.

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