In every area of your life, the most important skills you can learn are those that each you how to communicate effectively. And those skills are absolutely VITAL in business.
I would even go so far as to say that no matter what field you’re in, no matter what your talent or ability, the time you spend improving your ability to communicate will be the best investment of your time you’ll ever make.
- If you work for someone else, you need to be able to communicate with your boss, or your staff, or your colleagues.
- If you run your own business, you need to be able to communicate with your employees or contractors, your suppliers, as well as with your audience.
What people often fail to realize is that communication is not about just knowing the right words to say. In fact, effective communication is only about 10% WHAT you say, and 90% HOW you say it.
Isn’t that amazing?
Is there any wonder there are so many misunderstandings when what someone thinks you are trying to tell them is only lightly based on what you actually say?
So then, what can we do to be more effective in our communications?
These are the top 5 skills that will make you a more effective communicator:
1 – Listen!
People think they are listening when sometimes all they are listening for is the break in the conversation so they can say the next thing they thought of. The #1 thing people want to feel during any interaction is that they are being heard!
So really listen. Listen to the words they are saying. And what is their body posture saying? What are their hands saying? Their eyes? For instance, if someone is saying something that makes them uncomfortable or they’re not sure of what they’re telling you… their eyes might look away.
That’s a lot to be listening to, right? Good! That way you won’t have time to be thinking about your own points while they are talking! Be fully focused on them.
And be Engaged! Nod, or ask questions to clarify their point. Be sure you are hearing what they are actually communicating before you ask that they understand what YOU are trying to communicate.
2 – Let them feel safe to share.
In person, comfortable and friendly body language and facial expressions can help the other person be more forthcoming and honest. In email or social media, you don’t have that so it all has to be in the “tone” or the style of your delivery.
But you want the other person to feel that it is a friendly exchange (rather than adversarial) and that you are listening with an open mind to what they have to say. If your mind is made up, then there is no dialog happening. And if you’re not listening to them, don’t expect them to be listening to you.
And in the end they need to know that, even if you disagree with what they are saying, you value their insight and respect their feelings and what they shared.
3 – Be clear. Be concise. And when you say what you need to say, stop talking
In today’s world of ‘sound bites’ we’ve actually been trained to listen to the first thing that’s said as important and then not listen as closely.
I remember when writing newspaper articles in school they told us to write as if the person will read the headline. And some people might glance at the first sentence.
So in those first moments, try to communicate the POINT of what you’re saying. THEN, you can go back and fill in the details because if they know what you are trying to say, they will be more likely to be interested and to listen further.
4 – Use Complimentary Critiques.
When I need to deliver criticism, I always try to remember “the compliment sandwich.” Basically, that means to talk about something that you like first, then talk about whatever might need some work, and then finish again talking about something that was good.
For the one listening, it can help them hear what you’re saying without raising their defensiveness. And for the one criticizing, it’s a good reminder of all the things that you DID like.
So often, it’s so easy to focus on the thing that needs work, that we take for granted all the things that were truly well done. People say, “Well, of course I liked all the rest of it. If I didn’t talk about it, that means I liked it.“
No! It’s just as important to communicate what you LIKE as what you DON’T LIKE. If mistakes deserve a moment to be talked about, then how much more worthy is a success?
5 – Let the Medium fit your Message.
In today’s world, we have many different want to communicate: in person, by phone, by mail, by email, by text message, by written article or over social media. It’s important to choose the right medium for the message you’re trying to communicate.
For example, if you’re announcing the time for a company picnic, by all means blast it on social media. However, if you’re having a serious conversation, it might need to be in person. Or, at the very least, pick up a phone (and NOT to message them, but to TALK to them!)
My rule of thumb is that if it’s serious, likely to be misinterpreted or cause a lot of questions, then choose a more “personal” medium. If you need to communicate anything negative, or personal, then take a moment to stop before you “tweet” it and consider how you would feel if you received that particular communication in that way.
So, what do you think? Pretty straight-forward, right?
It’s actually not that hard to develop communication skills but you do have to remain mindful and practice.
And the beauty of these skills is that you can apply them in EVERY situation where you want to communicate. Anytime you have something to say, keep these in mind.
What about you? Do you see how these skills can help you at your present job or when building your own business? Are there any other skills in communication that you think are important that you’d like to develop? Often, simply being aware of these things can help us practice more effective communication. But have you found exercises that have helped you become a more skillful communicator?
Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below. In a community like this, when one of us succeeds, ALL of us succeed!
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